Today Is My Sober Anniversary
It was bothering me that I didn't know the exact date that I last drank. I knew that it was toward the end of my kids' winter break last year and I seemed to recall that it was a Friday. Its important enough for me to know that I went digging through our records and confirmed that it was the Friday I was thinking of, which last year was February 23, 2018.
Part of me is scared that I will want to drink again someday. Because I don't think it was me who had the strength to stop. But since I believe that God was the reason I stopped, then that means my continued sobriety is in God's Hands. So I guess I can put that fear to rest.
The reason for my worry is I know now, as much as I'll ever be able to (I think), the damage that alcohol inflicted on my life and my relationships. Being sober means that I never have to worry about doing something embarrassing, unintentionally hurting someone I love, or not remembering everything that happened because I drank too much. I never have to wake up hungover again. I can be kinder to my body and my liver. I can fully own all my actions, words, and decisions, and learn from the ones I wish not to repeat.
It means that I can be a role model to my children of a life lived without mind-altering substances, and as someone who overcame an addictive habit. I can be fully present and participate in my life with a clear head and clear intentions. I can grow in times and situations that may be less than comfortable, without the social lubrication of alcohol. It's an amazing feeling and I'm so grateful to God for letting me experience this life.